


through idle air

by kimaracretak



Category: Jiàn Yǔ | Reign of Assassins (2010)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Character Death Fix, Character Study, F/F, Road Trips
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-26
Updated: 2020-07-26
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:21:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25521271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kimaracretak/pseuds/kimaracretak
Summary: It's a terrible thing, to be trusted when you don't know what you did to deserve that trust.
Relationships: Ye Zhanqing/Zeng Jing
Comments: 2
Kudos: 4
Collections: Every Woman 2020





	through idle air

**Author's Note:**

  * For [echoslam](https://archiveofourown.org/users/echoslam/gifts).



> Leaving the choirs behind to sing,  
> of anything fair, of lilac spring.  
> A dream of truce behind my eyes.  
> A life of journeys will unwind.  
> Emerge through idle air.  
> — 'Decima', Katatonia

Xi Yu sleeps flat on her back, eyes half-shut and body more still than the majority of graves Ye Zhanqing has seen in her life. Sleep is still a relatively new addition to her nightly routine after two weeks on the road, and Zhanqing wants to be happy for her.

Was happy for her, for a while, before she realised that she missed being watched. After all, it's a terrible thing, to be trusted when you don't know what you did to deserve that trust.

Perhaps, she thinks, rolling over onto her side, perhaps the exhaustion of travel has finally caught up with her. Perhaps Xi Yu is simply tired. But: no. The thought of Xi Yu succumbing to that sort of weakness now that she has been granted her freedom is even worse than the idea of being trusted.

Zhanqing's hand hovers over Xi Yu's mouth. If she lowered it - sealed her palm over Xi Yu's closed lips, leant down and whispered, _don't scream_ -

Xi Yu wouldn't obey. Her eyes would open, yes, and she would reach for her sword, the one shining like a fallen star on the piece of thick cloth that keeps it from touching the dirt. She would pick it up, because Ye Zhanqing hasn't moved it - cannot, still, bring herself to pick up another woman's sword.

After that is where there is too much room for too many questions. The old Xi Yu would kill her, and quickly, too. It is one of the reasons Zhanqing was drawn to her in the first place. Zeng Jing is difficult: the one Zhanqing first watched stepping through the market square with a smile and an armful of fabrics, she would perhaps have tried, survival instinct and Xi Yu's memories giving her a temporary strength, but it would have been for nothing. The Zeng Jing who fought the Wheel King, yes, that may have been a fair fight. The new Xi Yu, the one who pulled her from the rubble and lead her out of the city -

But she does not know which woman is sleeping at her side. It feels as though it should worry her more than it does.

"Even I cannot kill in my sleep," Xi Yu says. She sounds like herself again, and Zhanqing holds herself steady with an effort, wonders how she missed Xi Yu's waking. "And I know you would not kill me in my sleep. Ask your questions."

Her breath is warm against Zhanqing's skin. She's smiling, the sharp, sad smile that makes Zhanqing feel as though her mouth is filling with blood faster than she could control, as though her tongue is too heavy to move across the words that have run through her mind every night since they left the city.

Zhanqing takes her hand back. Places it in her lap, slow and deliberate. "Why didn't you kill me?"

Xi Yu blinks. "Why do you think I should have?"

Because it is the way of things. Because it is who we are. Because I wanted you to - I wanted to see if you could.

She has lied for so long, and with so little effort. Why can't she force these lies past her lips?

"It's no matter," Xi Yu says. "You cannot stop me from being glad you are here with me."

Ye Zhanqing rests her chin on her knees and thinks that that just might be the worst thing of all.


End file.
